This is my writing of something I didn't do in the holiday's. I also learnt how to use more appropriate word's instead of said,went,going and get. So now I've posted my work on my blog for everyone to read.
Hi Alesia, wouldn't it be cool to win the lotto? I like the way you have used so many powerful adjectives in your writing, and have described exactly what you would like to do if you won the lotto. Do you really have eight other siblings? Cause I only have two. Where abouts do you stand in the midst of your siblings, are you the oldest, youngest, or middle child?
Hello Alesia :) Wow, what an amazing adventure! I really like the way how you are very imaginative. You have written a very creative piece of writing. Keep it up! And one question; if you win another lotto, where would you want to go next? Nichole, Y8 Room 6 Papakaio
Hi Alesia, This is very good writing! I love how you have used so many adjectives to describe your writing, it makes it much more enjoyable to read. Is the Gold Coast where you would like to go? Is there anywhere else? I would like to go to England to see the rest of my family! Tilly, Yr8 at Oamaru Intermediate School
Hi Tilly, yes it is the gold coast were I would like to go with my family. There is no were else i would like to go. Thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it.
Hi Alesia, my name is Gerry and I go to Tautoro school. I really enjoyed reading your recount about the holidays and I hope you had fun. To improve I think that you should describe how you felt a bit more by adding in more descriptive language. Other than that I really liked your story about your holiday in the Gold Coast. From Gerry
Hi Alesia my name is Cheyenne. I go to Paihia School. I like your story about the Gold Coast. The story had very interesting words. What was it like over there?
Hi Alesia, wouldn't it be cool to win the lotto? I like the way you have used so many powerful adjectives in your writing, and have described exactly what you would like to do if you won the lotto. Do you really have eight other siblings? Cause I only have two. Where abouts do you stand in the midst of your siblings, are you the oldest, youngest, or middle child?
ReplyDeleteHi meg, yes it would be cool to win the lotto. Yeah I do have 8 other siblings and I'm the middle child.
DeleteHello Alesia :)
ReplyDeleteWow, what an amazing adventure! I really like the way how you are very imaginative. You have written a very creative piece of writing. Keep it up! And one question; if you win another lotto, where would you want to go next?
Nichole, Y8 Room 6 Papakaio
Hi Nichole, I dont really know were I would go if I won the lotto again. Thanks for the comment.
DeleteHi Alesia, This is very good writing! I love how you have used so many adjectives to describe your writing, it makes it much more enjoyable to read. Is the Gold Coast where you would like to go? Is there anywhere else? I would like to go to England to see the rest of my family!
ReplyDeleteTilly, Yr8 at Oamaru Intermediate School
Hi Tilly, yes it is the gold coast were I would like to go with my family. There is no were else i would like to go. Thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it.
DeleteThank's Miss for the comment.
ReplyDeleteHi Alesia, my name is Gerry and I go to Tautoro school. I really enjoyed reading your recount about the holidays and I hope you had fun. To improve I think that you should describe how you felt a bit more by adding in more descriptive language. Other than that I really liked your story about your holiday in the Gold Coast.
ReplyDeleteFrom Gerry
hi my name is hinemaia and i love the gold coast
ReplyDeleteHi alesia
ReplyDeleteyou are very good at righting your recount about the gold coast was very descriptive i really liked reading it
Hi Alesia my name is Cheyenne. I go to Paihia School. I like your story about the Gold Coast. The story had very interesting words. What was it like over there?
ReplyDelete